It’s been exactly one month since I got home from the recovery house (where did the time go?!?) and it’s definitely time for an update! I’ve been so touched by the amount of people who have reached out to see how I’m doing, or to tell me that they’ve enjoyed reading my posts and following my journey. Honestly, I didn’t think anyone would have the time or interest to read what I had to say, so I feel very blessed and humbled.
One of the most important parts of recovery is staying accountable, especially in early recovery. It’s far too easy to slip back into old habits without being active in forming new ones! For me, I’ve been keeping myself accountable by reaching out to my sponsor, continuing to log all of my meals and snacks, connecting with others, attending 12-step meetings, getting honest about where I’m at, and of course, blog posts! So with that said…
I’m grateful to report that I’m doing really, really well! Far better than I thought I would be at this stage. That’s not to say I haven’t had any slip-ups or set-backs (I am human, after all), but the difference is all in my intentions and willingness to keep moving forward.
Do I still want to check the calories on every single food item? A lot of the time, yes.
Am I still afraid of gaining weight? Yep.
Do I feel uncomfortable in my body sometimes? 100%.
Do I still have fear foods? SO many.
Am I going to eat them anyways? Absolutely!!!
Yes – the disorder still exists and the thoughts still creep in, but this is normal and it’s all really fine. Just because the thought is there, doesn’t mean that I need to act on it. The thoughts come, they go, and life goes on. I have absolutely no interest in going back into my eating disorder, so when I slip into an old behaviour, I very quickly pick myself back up and go in the opposite direction.
Five months ago I never thought I would be the one saying this, but it’s true, RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE!